Mother’s Day is hard. It’s been hard for years to be honest. When I was single it was hard as I still wanted to be a Mum and all around me people were celebrating Mums and motherhood. There often wasn’t much thought given to those who couldn’t have kids. Single people often get overlooked here: just because you haven’t found the right person doesn’t mean you don’t have the desire and longing to be a Mum. Mother’s Day is also hard for people who have lost mothers, or children. I know many people who avoid church on this day because it’s too painful. Today as I reflected on it being Mother’s Day I also realized that if our IVF had worked we would be having our 12 week scan about now. I don’t know why this hit me but it did. It sounds silly as I’ve obviously known for a while that I’m not pregnant, but this ‘could-have-been milestone’ brought it all back to me. Somewhere I still have the ultrasound of our two embryos that didn’t make it. Will I ever get to the next stage?
In case you’re confused, I have this Mother’s Day experience twice a year! It’s Mother’s Day today in the UK and in May it will be celebrated in Canada. Two reminders each year of what I’m not. The UK one is easier as I just ignore social media for a few days! I’m grateful that my family celebrate me on this day as much as they celebrate my Mum and my sister. They know it’s a hard day for me. My sister’s Facebook post said “Happy Mother’s Day to all mums, grannys, grandmas, aunties, godmothers and everyone else who mothers.” She’s got it right. Many people have an impact in the lives of children and can be celebrated for their role. Mums and Dads need to be celebrated – they do a tough job. But please don’t forget those of us who long to be parents. We need to be celebrated too.
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